6 Strategies for Dealing with an Emotionally Invalidating Partner

It’s human nature to want to be seen and heard. We’re meant to be social beings, and part of that is being understood by those around us. It’s especially important that we have our feelings acknowledged and understood by our family, friends, and loved ones.

Relationships can be challenging at times. Additionally, if your partner is acting in an emotionally invalidating way, it can be a difficult and stressful dynamic to deal with. Emotional invalidation can make you feel unseen and unimportant. 

When this happens, you may start to question yourself or spiral into poor mental health outcomes. If you’re currently experiencing this, here are some helpful strategies you can use to navigate your situation.

1. Recognize the Signs

Emotional invalidation doesn’t come in one specific form. Your partner may demonstrate dismissive behavior, deny your feelings, minimize your emotions, avoid discussion about your feelings by changing the subject, or treat you like you’re being “dramatic.”

Certain behaviors are unhealthy to the longevity of a relationship. Examples of comments to be mindful of include being told:

• You’re overreacting

• You’re too sensitive

• You should just get over something

• You’re making too big of a deal out of something

• They don’t have time to deal with your feelings

Each of these statements implies your feelings are not important. They can make you feel dismissed and can undermine your ability to cope.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Having boundaries in any relationship is an important component to ensure respect, as difficult as they may be. Everyone has personal boundaries, but they often get lost or blurred when entering into a relationship. 

In an effort to deal with your emotionally invalidating partner, you should establish clear boundaries and plan to stick with them. Boundaries set the bar for how you want to be treated, allow for clear communication, and promote emotional well-being. 

Let your partner know their behavior is causing you pain and communicate your boundaries to them. Stand your ground in ensuring they’re honoring those boundaries. 

3. Use “I” Statements

When having important conversations with your partner, the use of “I” statements can be an effective and assertive way to communicate your feelings. These statements will reduce the possibility that your viewpoints get misunderstood. 

Think of the following examples; which one resonates more effectively? “You don’t listen to me when I talk,” or “I feel unheard and dismissed when I’m speaking to you.” Not only is the “I” statement less passive, it’s also conveys a softer tone.

4. Call Them Out

After having conversations with your partner on their emotional invalidation, it may take some time to correct the behavior. Maybe they weren’t aware of how their comments were being perceived. Maybe habits are just hard to break. 

Be respectful, but call your partner out when they’re continuing to display dismissive types of behaviors. Don’t be afraid to tell them you get to decide how you feel about a given situation and your feelings are just as valid. 

5. Educate Your Partner

Many of our behavioral and personality traits stem from our upbringing as children. If your partner had a rough childhood or experienced adverse situations, it could be impacting their attitudes and habits as an adult. 

They may not have learned to deal with emotions in the same manner as you, so there’s room to improve in this aspect. Educate your partner on the importance of validating emotions and how that plays into mutual respect. 

6. Seek Help: Marriage Counseling in Georgetown, TX

If you’ve had the conversations, but the problem is still persisting, you may need to explore additional outlets for further help. Marriage therapy is a great way to develop necessary strategies to improve your sense of self-worth and strengthen your relationship. Contact us today to learn more.